Tuesday, December 20, 2016

No F**king Apologies

Yesterday I went on a red hot emotional rant on my personal Facebook page, complete with language that would make a sailor proud. Later than night, someone asked me if I had to put money in a "swear jar."

No, I told her. Not in my house.

Nor do I apologize for my salty language.

The funny thing is, in spite of growing up in a house where there was a ton of swearing, I never really got into it until I was in my late thirties. And the older I get, the more I seem to swear. Not all the time, but enough and at specific times. Usually when I'm really upset or angry.

Sometimes when I let a word or two slip around someone who does not know me well, they take in my silver hair, rosy cheeks, doughy body, and big smile, and do a double take. I guess fat old ladies aren't supposed to swear. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Most of my books are extremely mild when it comes to swearing. My Granny Apples novels are almost devoid of anything shocking. The Odelia Grey books only on occasion contain a swear word and then only if it fits the character and situation. There's not even a lot in my Winnie Wilde romances, though there is plenty of steamy sex in those books.

But here's a real shocker to many readers: authors are not their books or their characters.

We are individuals who create those characters. I will admit that there is a bit of each one in us, good and bad, but we are not them.  Since I am a middle-aged, plus size paralegal, I am often asked if I am like Odelia Grey. No, I usually say. Odelia dresses better and swears less. And that's the truth.

So from time to time, you're going to hear me swear. I make no apologies for it, just as I make no apologies for my personal beliefs and leanings. Nor should anyone.

Often other writers tell me that I should be more careful about exposing my true self online, that it will turn away readers. Those writers show nothing or very little of their true personalities in social media. Others of my colleagues let it all hang out, much as I do. It's a personal choice.

However, if you are shocked by my language, or any of my personal commentaries or beliefs, then you should not be following my personal page on Facebook. That's where Sue Ann Jaffarian, the individual, hangs out, for better or for worse. If you need a sanitized version, then you should follow my Author Page or my Fan Club Page. I'm a good girl there.


Mary Lugo said...

Sue Ann - what some may not know is swearing during pain or anger releases hormones that help. Lol one of my closest friends, who can give you a run for your money on the 'cute' factor , swears like a trucker! When she's Very angry, or hurting.
We enjoy your stories, and love you for who you are!

Susan Steveson said...

And this is one of the reasons why I follow you on Facebook. You are you and not putting out a false face.

Maggie King said...

Sue Ann, Excellent post. If I post anything political on my FB personal and author pages I try to be "fair and balanced." I'm not sure if I fool anyone. On certain groups and on Twitter I'm much more open. It's not that I'm concerned with anyone knowing my politics, I just don't want to get into arguments in a public forum. I never was good at arguing about politics, anyway.

If my readers believe that I am my sleuth, then they got a good dose of my political beliefs from my first book. But, like you said, we are not our characters---except when we are.