Saturday, November 12, 2016

Who Does This To Themselves?

Warning: This is a big-ass rant. But I'm pointing my finger at me, no one else.

Last night every inch of my body itched. My eyes, face, legs and even earlobes drove me nuts. My scalp felt like I had lice. My ankles felt like fleas were making a picnic of them. I was in a full-blown allergy attack and couldn't wait until I got home to take medication.  I'm better this morning, but my skin all over is very dry and itchy, especially my legs. I still have painful cyst-like pimples on my face and crusty patches of rash on other parts of my body. Even my eyes are still a bit puffy. How attractive it that, right?

The culprit: dairy products.

But the real miscreant here is ME.

As I've written before, I'm allergic to dairy products. I am NOT lactose intolerant, but actually allergic to them.

Warning, if you recommend I use Lactaid or something similar, I will strangle your uninformed ass with string cheese.

Milk, cheese, sour cream, butter, ice cream - if it comes from the mammary gland of an animal, I am not supposed to eat it. It's something I discovered a few years ago when trying to figure out why I had acne at my age and most of my body was covered with eczema. Usually I'm super good about it. But after cleaning out my system from years of dairy consumption, now I'm even more sensitive to it. It is the reason I became a half-ass vegan.

Oh, and by the way, just to make things interesting, dairy is/was my favorite food group.

I can have bits of it, like a splash of milk in scrambled eggs or a baked good without any problem, but regular consumption is a definite no-no.

These last few weeks, as I waited out the election, was swamped at work, and staring down a book deadline, what did I do? I turned to my favorite comfort food: dairy. I've had cheese, pizza, ice cream,  milk shakes, etc. If it had dairy in it, I defiantly shoved it into my pie hole. Not every day or at every meal, but enough so that my body twice started screaming at me in protest. First last weekend and again yesterday. Two very bad nearly back-to-back reactions. How many more warnings do I need?

Who does this to themselves? Who, with the raised fist of a temperamental four-year-old, insists on doing the very thing that will do them harm?

Me, obviously.

My name is Sue Ann and I am an emotional eater, and I'm choosing to self-medicate with the very food group that will do me more harm than just adding calories and weight.  I guess I think Anaphylactic shock sounds sexy.

What the &#$* is wrong with me???

Starting today when stressed out, I'm finding something else besides food (not just dairy) to burn off that frustration. Exercise sounds like a good start, and meditation, music, or even writing.

But it's not just the food issue. My doctor has been telling me for years that I need to cut back on the stress in my life or else... and I've been working on that for the past year by cutting out some of my outside obligations, managing book deadlines, and learning to say no to requests for my time. For years I've overextended myself and it's coming back to bite me on the ass. Big time.

As of today I have 566 days until retirement. If I don't take better care of myself, I'll never make it to that date. And that's not an option. I have plans. Big plans. Much larger than a pizza with double cheese. I can't wait until retirement to take care of myself. I need to start that NOW. TODAY.

Okay, rant over.

But, Sue Ann, I'm watching you!

1 comment:

Pearl R. Meaker said...

I hope your allergic reactions ease up, Sue Ann. I'm having more and more trouble with stress these days too. Hopefully we can both find solutions that work for us. I'll keep us both in thought and prayer. :-)