Friday, October 07, 2016

Potty Mouth

There are several businesses I frequent that have signs posted that warn if you are on your cell phone when it's your turn for service, they will not help you, talk to you, take your food order, etc. I think this is a dynamite idea. Cell phones are ubiquitous. Yes, they are useful and convenient, and even I carry mine almost everywhere.

Almost everywhere. Emphasis on the word almost.

In my day job, I work in a high rise building with nearly 25 floors. On my floor there are several women who bring their cell phones into the women's room and make calls while in stalls. I don't know if they are using the facilities during these calls or just pretending the stall is a phone booth, but it annoys the freaking hell out of me. It's bad enough I have to listen to everyone's calls in the elevator or in line to get food, but this takes the Charmin. And it's not just in the bathroom at my office. I've witnessed this in many public restrooms.

So ... the next time you are tempted to make a call in a public or near public restroom, Buttercup, consider this:

1. Your call is NOT private. I, and the other women in the bathroom, can hear every word you are saying, and some of the calls I've heard should be private. Just yesterday I heard someone talking to an obvious client. Really? A client? In the toilet? Last week someone was checking back on a job interview from the stall next to me. Over time, I've overhead fights with significant others and scolding of children.  And I've heard gooey love talk, some of it rather graphic. If you need privacy, walk to the parking garage and get in your car, or go outside to make your call.

2. I don't want to use the toilet or even flush the toilet within hearing of the other person on your phone. It's true they don't know who I am, but it's icky and embarrassing. I don't want them hearing my "business" anymore than I want to hear yours. It's an invasion of MY privacy.

3. It's just freaking nasty. I don't even talk on the phone when using my bathroom at home. Where are your manners? Your call can wait five minutes while you take care of bodily functions.

Yesterday I flushed the toilet about six times in a row. A waste of water, yes, but I was trying to make a point. Didn't seem to bother Ms. Nasty Phone at all. She went right on talking, just louder. Her client must have thought she was calling from Niagara Falls.

I'm really tempted to put a NO PHONES ALLOWED sign on the door, but I know it will only be ignored, laughed at, or defaced.

Maybe next time I should wait and when the caller emerges from the stall, grab the phone and flush it. Do you think she'll get the message? Or maybe she'll call security ... from the phone in her office.

Am I the lone voice in the desert on this issue? Or do others hate this too?

Or maybe I'm just a crabby old lady ... with outdated bathroom manners?


Kathy Keating said...

YES! The cell phone is another great invention that people have turned into an annoyance. LOVED "...this takes the Charmin..." LOL

Kathy Keating said...

YES! The cell phone is another great invention that people have turned into an annoyance. LOVED "...this takes the Charmin..." LOL

Cathy said...

Used to work at Target. Had to run a cash register because the lines were backed up. I had a very long line, and a woman in it proceeded to get on her cell phone and tell her girlfriend (and the rest of us) in graphic detail about last night's hot date. When it was her turn at the register, I had to unload her full cart because she was too busy talking. I rang up her items, bagged them, put them back in her cart, and politely but firmly told her the total of her purchase and asked how she would be paying. She waved me off. Twice.

While she continued telling everyone about her boyfriend's package, I calmly got her cart out of the way, suspended her transaction (I loved that function), and began ringing up other people. SIX transactions later she blows a gasket when she finds out she hasn't been holding up the line. Insists on speaking to the manager. Four people from my line and the next stopped in their tracks and said, "Oh no, you don't!"-- willing to spend precious time to defend me. I just looked at her and asked, "Are you ready to pay now?"

I would gladly flush a lot of cell phones down the loo. Need some help?

Paul D. Marks said...

What kills me, Sue Ann, is how trivial 99.9% of what they're talking about is. I had someone nearly hit me with a shopping cart 'cause she was talking on her phone. That nearly turned real ugly...

Mark Baker said...

Nope, you are not alone. Especially after someone got mad at me for flushing the (admittedly loud urinal) so the other person now knew the person had entered the bathroom while their phone call was going on (yes, he'd walked in mid-conversation). Sorry, but how is that my fault?

Doug Pearson said...

Luckily, I haven't been subjected to much of this; and I still don't have a cell phone, so I don't even have a way to do that to others. That's one for stuck-in-the-muds.