Thursday, May 19, 2016

Remembering the Good

Taken about 6 years ago
Tomorrow marks a year since my brother, Thomas Arthur Jaffarian, passed away from complications of liver disease. I've been thinking about him a lot lately, which is natural.

Thom and I were never close and there were many patches of time when we didn't see or speak to each other for years. Sometimes I didn't even know where he was if I had wanted or needed to reach him. Even his kids didn't know where he was a lot of the time. Every now and then he would pop up or we would track him down through some of his online contacts.  He was just that way. He had a lot of personal demons, more than most of us.

To be honest, I have a lot of not so good memories of my brother or my family. Thom and I couldn't have been more different in the paths we chose for our lives. But he was my brother and I loved him and today I'm going to remember some of the good things:

    Walking me to school when I was in first grade. I have old home movies that my mother took of my first day of school and Thom holding my hand as we walk up the street, me with my little lunch box.
Playing board games with me when we were kids even though we were five years apart.

Coming to my defense when other kids picked on me.

Giving me my beautiful nephews and niece: Tom, Derek and Lindsay.

Nights playing cards with my mother and Thom's first wife, Marlaine, with whom I am still as close as a sister.

Going on kiddie rides with me when I was too small to ride them alone. There is one photo of Thom and me that I still remember and wish I could find. We're on one of those rides for really small children. I'm only about four and look terrified and Thom is mugging for the camera, obviously not thrilled to be on a ride for babies. I'll post it if I find it.

He was a wonderful wood carver and I have two of his pieces that I will always treasure. The one to the left is my favorite.

As a young man he was good looking and strong. He didn't always made the best decisions or take the best paths in life, but isn't that true of us all?

Several years before my father passed, he gave me his old Kodak projector and our old home movies. In the next year, as I'm getting rid of a lot of my personal things in preparation to hit to road for retirement, I want to take the time to go through those old films and see if there is anything worth salvaging and having transferred to DVD. I've been meaning to do it for YEARS, but you know how it is, time just slips away. Now it will be a major item on my To Do List as I clean out my apartment. I want Thom's children and grandchildren to see those movies. To see how Thom and I were as kids. That there were good times and fun times.

Be at peace, brother.


Deborah J Troop said...

I had a brother who spent time on the street for long periods of time. Ultimately liver disease did him in, but he got sober and we were able to reconnect for a few years. He was my baby brother and I choose to remember the good only. I am glad you are doing this with your brother.

Grammy Lemieux said...

Thinking of you Sue, I'm glad you can focus on the good memories. I do the same thing, Mine & Paul's relationship was a roller coaster for awhile, but I never stopped loving him. I miss him a lot.
I'm glad I had the chance to reconnect with Thom a few years before he died. For awhile there we talked through emails & private messages. Then one day he just decided to go back to being a loner.
Thanks for this little blog, I've enjoyed it. ❤️

Leslie Lim said...

It is great to have the opportunity to read a good quality article with useful information on topics that plenty are interested on.