Author Sue Ann Jaffarian offers meanderings from an often muddled and exhausted mind.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Throw the Bitch Back in Jail ... OR ...
Send me instead. I will gladly serve out the remaining days of Paris Hilton's jail time if I can do it banging around in her Hollywood mansion. Just make sure you order me a size large monitoring bracelet. It doesn't even have to be Gucci. Hell, I'll even do the time locked up in the celebrity wing of the Lynwood jail where she was until earlier this week. Twenty-one days of solitude. No day job. No demanding, shedding cats. No 3rd floor apartment without air and a cranky elevator and even crankier hot water. Twenty-one days of just me and time. Give me a stash of pens and legal pads and leave me alone. Better yet, let me take my AlphaSmart. It runs 700 hours on batteries. Even if I write 24 hrs a day, I won't run out of power before they turn me loose.
So please pick me... please... please... please, pretty please with light foam and cinnamon on top.